Roger Pugh

The U.S. Presidential Election; From a Safe Distance

Australian Roger Pugh examines the results of this presidential election and looks ahead to the ticket for 2020: a showdown between Democrat Michelle Obama versus Republican James Comey.

 

The U.S. has not so much suffered an election as become infected by an email virus from Hillary’s computer. This has caused Americans to become so mentally unhinged they’ve done things as unthinkable as voting for Trump to become President.

Yet amongst all the disillusionment there emerged a beacon of fairness and probity in the shape of James Comey, the FBI Director. He decided, not once, but twice, to investigate and then not indict Hillary for having her computer hocked, heckled, or hacked by either the Russians, WikiLeaks, or Anthony Weiner; although continuing FBI investigations are based on a Foundation run by the Clintons.

Furthermore, Comey decided not to mount a full investigation into Trump’s relationships with women because it would have meant doubling the size of his staff.

It is time, however, for Comey once again to come to the service of his country. Having played a key role in saving it from the Clintons, he’s now got to start the investigations that will save it from Trump.

Of course, there’s a danger all this could lead to considerable unrest. The Clintons are likely to try and establish their Foundation as the alternative government and Trump is likely to try and get rid of Comey by dispatching him to locate Obama’s birthplace in Africa.

However, there is a certain reassurance in the announcement that Mexico have offered to pay for a wall to be built around Trump.

Meanwhile, the Democrats are already weighing whether to adopt Michelle Obama as their next Presidential nominee. She offers distinct advantages over Hillary in that she’s not married to Bill, is not being investigated by the FBI, and doesn’t have an email connection to Anthony Weiner.

James Comey is the obvious pick as the next Republican Presidential nominee because he’s likely to have a devastating FBI dirt file on any Democrat who opposes him.

Members of Congress who are desperate to avoid a repeat of the electorally deplorable episode in 2016 should take urgent action to disqualify the Bush, Clinton, Obama, and Trump dynasties from any future possibility of practicing politics and initiate a search to rediscover the Republican and Democratic Parties.

In addition, there is an urgent need to redefine political protocols to confirm that misspeaking is no substitute for plain speaking, and groping is no substitute for having a finger on the pulse; although, it could be preferable to having a finger on the nuclear button.

The World Health Organization is thought to be in favor of a ban on Hillary doing any emailing whatsoever, because further leaking could drive the whole world witless. However, on a more positive note, there seems every prospect that the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election will prove to be the catalyst for a new type of extreme sport.

 

 

Roger Pugh

Following a career that comprised heading up global marketing departments and advertising agencies Roger made a seachange to his hobby of humorous writing by co-founding Political Satire site, Friday Mash. Roger is now the Native Content Director, heading up The Big Smoke’s Creative team and a regular political columnist in both Australian and USA editions of The Big Smoke.

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