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Buggin’ Out: The Culinary Insect Buzz

It’s tasty, it’s cheap, and it’s nutritious. What more do you want? Yes, they come from a bin. Welcome to the insect culinary craze.

 

Gird your loins for 2016’s hottest and most moronic culinary trend. One which drags the focus from the barbecue to that which swirls around it. Not handsy Uncle Boris (although look out for relo-cannibalism in ’17), rather those things you cover yourself in chemicals to avoid. The humble insect.

For you see, in certain scientific circles, one prefers the grasshopper to the T-bone. Why? Well, peep this handy graph below.

insect

Image: American Chemical Society

The masticating of insects is widely partaken in, in the far-flung corners of the globe, as the UN estimates that around 1,900 types of insect are part of a global food source.

Well, that may be, my pedigree chums, but we live in the first world, and the high twang of complaint is always valid, for we have the comfort to care. Hear this. As mopey troubadour and all-around man-crush Morrissey recently purported to Barnaby Joyce that meat is murder, the question begs asking: is the flambéing of Insecta too a crime? Do they not have jobs? Do they not make their larvae a home? And just because their main diet may be feces, does that mean we must treat them like it?

We’re all for taking a flier on trends, so peep this transformative new diet, which those of science claim could solve the food crisis in the growing world:

“The researchers analyzed grasshoppers, crickets, mealworms and buffalo worms for their mineral contents and estimated how much of each nutrient would likely get absorbed if eaten, using a lab model of human digestion. The insects had varying levels of iron, calcium, copper, magnesium, manganese and zinc. Crickets, for example, had higher levels of iron than the other insects did. And minerals including calcium, copper and zinc from grasshoppers, crickets and mealworms are more readily available for absorption than the same minerals from beef.”

I proclaim that the detractors will walk 500 miles to beat down your door. For, you, monster, are eating an entire hive to yourself, they say, as they pump what a fool bee-lieves, and dousing you in a garbage bag of priceless precious amber.

 

 

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