Maz Compton

UK Study: Smartphone Use Giving Us the Posture of Geriatrics

Padded Lamp Posts Introduced in Brick Lane

Text-related injury is a real thing. One leading UK University has discovered that the way we walk while texting is putting our bodies under a geriatric level of strain.

 

How many times have you been just casually walking along the street, minding your own business, texting someone back, and suddenly a clown is up in your grill? It’s not like it’s your fault, you had an important text to send and people should be making sure they don’t run into you, I’m textin’ here. The number of buses that have been missed, trashcans that have been collided with, and “attack by baby stroller” incidents that have been reported, I assume, has increased significantly since smartphones captivated our attention.

In fact, the way we walk while texting could be affecting our physiology. Scientists at the University of Cambridge, through the aid of motion analysis, have discovered that texting devotees are walking in the same manner as 80-year-olds, replete with hunched backs, no peripheral vision, who step at an alarmingly slow pace. In fact, the study discovered that we’re unable to continue walking in a straight line. If you want to push the research further, why not send a bunch of Millennials to the nearest old people’s home and see who can do the fastest hot lap of the leisure center. My money will be on the majors, not the minors.

What’s the solution? “Not texting” isn’t, I won’t even suggest for a moment that we start calling people and having conversations again and revert to some level of real human interaction.

What’s the solution? “Not texting” isn’t, I won’t even suggest for a moment that we start calling people and having conversations again and revert to some level of real human interaction, I’m not insane. I say we stay in the bubble and keep everyone on high alert for Apple’s iMessage, “typing awareness indicator” — the three dots that appear on your screen to show you when someone on the other end of your text is typing.

The solution, for my money, is to upgrade our pavements, even going as far as paving paradise and put up padding on the telephone poles. Brick Lane, where I distinctly remember buying a super edgy T-shirt in 2006 that read in block letters “Queen of the F*%&ing Universe” is a microcosm of London’s shifting ethnic patterns, in East London the once dodgy slum, riddled with crime, including the scene for the Jack The Ripper murders, is now super trendy and popular with London’s art and hipster crowds, it boasts galleries, markets, festivals and is home to the country’s first “Safe Text” street. Now littered with brightly colored padding, thatched around lamp posts. The experiment in its trial phase and aims to see if brightly colored lamp posts will protect zoned out mobile phone users from TRI, Text Related Injury.

Back to the original study, if my generation is devolving into a geriatric mess, I for one will be happy to be rid of these devices. On the caveat that you do first.

 

Maz Compton

Maz Compton has a proven track record as one of Australia’s foremost radio personalities and entertainment reporters. A leading authority and tastemaker in the music and youth genres, Maz has ten years experience on camera, radio, behind the scenes production, and hosting live events. Maz was the original host of its flagship show Total Request Love (TRL) and anchored the VMA’s red carpet broadcasts. During her 5 years with MTV, Maz traveled the globe attending music festivals and shared the couch with all the big names including Sandra Bullock, Margot Robbie, Sir Richard Branson, and the Black Eyed Peas. Back in Australia, she presented MTV Australia’s VMA and ARIA Red Carpet Specials and won the ASTRA for most popular female presenter in 2008. In 2015, Maz headed to the U.S. for Red Bull TV to host the live TV events from music festivals Austin City Limits and Mad Decent, L.A. festival. The host of choice for red carpet events across music and film, Maz took the reins of the Magic Mike XXL and Jason Bourne premiere red carpet specials. In 2016, Maz launched her own digital interview series as the entertainment specialist with rebranded digital platform Yahoo 7 – Be.

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