Fake News From the Desk of Ivanka

Ivanka: Time Will Not Weary Dad, for Only He Can Judge Him

In her latest exclusive, Ivanka expresses her frustration that the only authoritative source likely to confirm her Dad’s standing as The Greatest U.S. President Ever is him.

 

I’m very concerned that Dad isn’t getting the recognition he so richly deserves.

LaVar Ball refused to acknowledge that Dad enabled his son to become Chinese takeaway and Time are not even going to make him their Man of the Year when, in all fairness, they should declare him their Man of the Century.

Dad agrees with me that by mid-2018 he will undeniably become The Greatest U.S. President, but the point is who will be truthful enough to admit it?

Hillary, for example, is still so pissed off with him she’d be much more inclined to nominate Monica Lewinsky as the first intern to be inducted into the White House Hall of Fame.

Robert Mueller is still absolutely focused on condemning any Russian contribution to getting Dad elected, but who will acknowledge their inspirational work in helping the U.S. acquire its Greatest Ever President?

I guess if CNN declared Dad to be the Greatest Ever it would be like Robert Mugabe extolling the virtues of democracy.

There’s even a question over whether members of Dad’s cabinet can become credible advocates of his standing as The Greatest. It looks like they could all be under investigation for either using off-shore tax havens, acting inappropriately towards someone or other, being on Putin’s payroll, or all three.

 

I’m confident he’ll be lauded as The Greatest by Putin and Xi once he’s proved that his America First policies have what it takes to cement it in at least third place.

 

I am outraged that some are even having the temerity to suggest that Dad could go the same way as Robert Mugabe. That’s an egregious slur because he’s never had the slightest intention of nominating Melania as his successor. He’s only too well aware of what’s happened to Bill after he tried to foist Hillary onto the country.

Of course, Dad has raised the prospect of me being his successor but only as a strategic measure to quash any move to incarcerate him post-Presidency at Guantanamo Bay.

Dad’s rightful place in history is hardly likely to receive support from someone like Kim Jong-un, but I’m confident he’ll be lauded as The Greatest by Putin and Xi once he’s proved that his America First policies have what it takes to cement it in at least third place.

I shall shortly be helping Dad’s case by launching The Greatest Ever U.S. President Fan Club. I’m so excited because I’ve received thousands of membership applications from Russia and the club is already being investigated by Robert Mueller.

 

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