Jason Zenobia

Rejected Elf Names

What the elf? Inspired by the site Santa Update, Jason Zenobia reveals some names for Santa’s elves that didn’t make the “nice” list. 


Imagine the brainstorming meeting that resulted in the creation of elf names for the Santa tracking website, Santa Update. Drinks were probably flowing, employees were getting tipsy, and since the number one rule for brainstorming is that “there are no bad ideas” everything that was said ended up on the whiteboard.

And then, the next day, once the alcohol wore off and the coffee kicked in, it was time to review the results of all that brainstorming and choose which ones to throw out.

Below, the elf names that did not make the cut … we’re not sure why.

Elf Measles

Elf Pimples

Elf Nipples

Elf Mole

Elf Toke

Elf Rash

Elf Chafe

Elf Hormone

Elf Rumble

Elf Mumps

Elf Pelvis

Elf Testicle

Elf Plump

Elf Liquor

Elf Wang

Elf Chode

Elf Nasal

Elf Colon

Elf Wrinkle

Elf Sphincter

Elf Pole

Elf Tube

Elf Vote

Elf Trump


Jason Zenobia

Jason Zenobia is a trained, professional chef, writer, and whiskey enthusiast living in Portland, Oregon with his husband and three cats. He is a Sagittarius who loves to travel, run barefoot on the beach, and find new uses for the word "fabulous."

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