The “Weak” in U.S. Politics: The “brought-to-you-by-Bravo-TV” Presidential race continues, Trump wins South Carolina, Clinton takes Nevada, and Bush calls it quits and needs a hug.
The “Weak” in Politics as seen by Alexandra Tselios
If you had told me 12 months ago that the current U.S. Presidential elections would include a parody by Larry David, an awkward mum rap by Sarah Palin, and Ted Cruz yelling in Spanish at Marco Rubio, I would have thought the real orchestrators of the race were hired by Bravo TV. I really have been blindsided that many times and I could never tell you anything for sure, but now today we know for sure that there will not be another Bush in the White House (this time). This isn’t a complete surprise, I was not imagining Jeb would suddenly surge in the polls any time soon, but rather I was wondering how much money he would bleed before accepting defeat. Admittedly, when he did the half-cough/holding back emotions, “I congratulate my competitors who remain on the island …” I wanted to give him a hug and whisper “good job, Jeb, kinda.” But one of those asexual hugs where you don’t press your bodies too closely together.
Ted Cruz is getting more aggressive lately after watching Donald Trump win South Carolina this weekend. Cruz said that these results show “conservatives continue to unite behind our campaign, if you are a conservative this is where you belong; because only one strong conservative can win this race … and we are the only campaign that has beaten, and can beat, Donald Trump.” Meanwhile, Trump explains what it is like to run for President by saying, “It’s tough, it’s nasty, it’s mean, it’s vicious, it’s beautiful. When you win, it’s beautiful.”
This weekend also saw Hillary Clinton beat Bernie Sanders in Nevada, so with bated breath we wait for the democratic South Carolina results later this week. After the last few weeks of Sanders winning (or close wins), some may have doubted Clinton’s ability to pull through which she referenced by saying, “Some may have doubted us, but we never doubted each other,” and also saying that, “Americans are hungry, but for real solutions,” a slight jab at the Sanders’ beloved ideology.
I predict Kasich will be the next to suspend his campaign. If we are making predictions based on facts though, it should most likely be Dr. Ben Carson to go next, but I don’t know if God’s memo to him has gotten through just yet, so until then he will keep paying for those campaigns and social media boosts.
The “Weak” in Politics as seen by Roger Pugh
Heard at Trump Campaign HQ
“I hear that George W is campaigning for his brother in South Carolina.”
“I know, we invited him.”
Heard at Bush Campaign HQ
“What’s Trump’s plan to send millions back to Mexico?”
“He’ll hire the people smugglers to reverse their operations.”
Heard at Bernie Campaign HQ
“The trouble with Hillary is that she’s been around the block so many times.”
“That’s not surprising when she’s trying to evade the FBI.”
Heard in a New Jersey Pub
“I hope Chris Christie runs again for President.”
“I think waist recycling initiatives are absolutely vital.”
Heard at the Archbishop’s Residence
“Do you think Ben Carson will stay in the race?”
“Only if they can bring his Easter resurrection forward a few weeks.”
Heard at Republican Party HQ
“Cruz claims to have God on his side.”
“That’s all very well, but he isn’t registered to vote.”