Again, we dangle our foot over the abyss named Reddit. This week we muse on the best and worst of formal engagements.
The Best Fucking Wedding Ever!
I always thought that if I got married, I’d do it in front of a man in a tie and then go party somewhere with friends. I’m probably one of the only girls in the world who feels that the prospect of a big wedding is akin to hell splitting open with Death riding after it.
Then I saw this image on Reddit of a couple of dudes getting hitched and it changed my mind.
I want a gay Jewish unicorn wedding please, sign me up!
Times Have Changed
I went to my prom with my high school bestie, Jessica. I was rocking acne like no one’s business. That morning, I decided to fake tan my legs for the first time to spruce up my image. I immediately regretted my choice to go a few shades darker after the lower half of my body went brown and the top half still looked albino. So, to save myself some embarrassment, I put on some stockings worn with open toe strappy heels and a blue doily halter dress. I looked stunning!
Why no one asked me to go with them is beyond me.
So I know that these guys would have had no luck getting a prom date back in 2003. Wow, look how far we’ve come! It’s making me tear up.
Poor Cardboard Boxes Never Saw It Coming
This is why having kids like this is a big disappointment … if you’re a fat arse. #hangry
They’ll be fiercely intelligent and cute, yes, but will they put food on the table? No!
And why having kids like this is the way to go. #legend
He might not know it now, but this kid is going places. Could be in the dumpster after being thrown in by the cool kids in high school or could be our world future superhero, either way, he’ll be awesome.
This Is Why I Thank God That Cats Hate Me
If I ever got to the point of trying this out, I know they’d claw my eyes out and spit on my future; thank you, Jesus, and Amen.
My Working Ethic in One Photo … Yep, Seems about Right
I Hope Someone Named Kevin Sees This at Work!