Roger Pugh

Letter to America: What Goes Up

In his latest Letter to America, Australian Roger Pugh relates how Australia weathered its own “Donald Trump” in Clive Palmer during their last election cycle.

 

G’day Americans,

It may be of some small consolation to you to know you’re not alone in suffering the debilitating effects of election fatigue syndrome.

We Aussies are sharing your pain in week seven of an eight-week election campaign and already the unmistakable symptoms of electoral brain damage are taking their toll. The impact in Australia of a yearlong Presidential campaign would be a doubling of the number of electoral brain damage treatment centers at the very least.

Our election campaign features two politicians vying for the top job, so it rather lacks the color of your version starring a catatonic control freak and a person of interest to the FBI.

However we had our Trump moment at the last election and I’m pleased to report that collateral damage was contained.

Clive Palmer was another bombastic entrepreneurial billionaire who was adamant that the only thing standing between Australia and world leadership was the trifling consideration that he wasn’t yet Prime Minister. He launched a new political entity called the Palmer United Party and this is a clear sign that if Trump becomes President it will be a precursor to the Trump Republican Party.

At the 2013 election, Clive narrowly won a seat in our House of Representatives and let it be known this was merely a tiresome yet necessary step to the top job.

I am pleased to report it’s all been downhill ever since.

His tendency to unfailingly favor his own opinion over everyone else’s led to a number of defections from his party.

His holiday resort and theme park collapsed as did his plan to build Titanic II. His joint business venture with a Chinese company has switched its focus of its operations almost entirely to the courtroom and his nickel refinery was left without a dime. His poll numbers collapsed to the point where terminating his political career was by far his best option.

There remains about as much chance of him becoming Prime Minister of Australia as the NRA presiding over a UN disarmament conference.

The moral of this tale is that people who rise in politics as fast as Trump and Clive are prone to disappear just as quickly. So if Trump becomes President, it would be prudent to have a competent Vice President warming up in the bullpen.

Latest analyses from the Bureau of Meteorology indicate that Trump could be a temporary tornado weather event caused by climate change.

Roger Pugh

 

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Roger Pugh

Following a career that comprised heading up global marketing departments and advertising agencies Roger made a seachange to his hobby of humorous writing by co-founding Political Satire site, Friday Mash. Roger is now the Native Content Director, heading up The Big Smoke’s Creative team and a regular political columnist in both Australian and USA editions of The Big Smoke.

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