Kate Turner

The Blurst of Reddit: The Blurst of Infomerical Acting, the Evil of Children, and the Polite Drunk

Again in purgatory we sit, trawling through the tasteless catacombs of Reddit, which this week features eyebrows on infants and the merit of straight talk.


The Blurst of Infomercial Actors

Ever get tired of living life the hard way, like when you chop food with a knife that can’t cut through a soft drink can or a phone book? That useless shit can fuck right off. I want a knife that can cut through a metal bar and/or my commitment phobia. Luckily, through my usual viewing patterns (read: “3:00 a.m.” and “infomercials”), I have found that exact knife! My tears can stop.

Jokes aside, my dream is to be one of those infomercial actors. I wonder what direction they’re given, word for word. Look like the most incapable human ever and be so mad about it. Madder! Madder, dammit!

There has to be another way!


The Merit of Talking Straight

Honest talking, no harm no foul, it is what it is, blah blah blah. To those people who speak this language, I thank you for your no filter approach at conversing. Yes, it can be bloody brutal on the other end, but without you lot I would still be wearing parachute pants and thinking my shitty rap skills could take me to the top.

Something I love is when we get a dose of frank speaking in an odd place. Ones that leave the other people like … da fuck? Just like the dude below.

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He’s got a point … even if he does need a chill pill ASAP.


Bender Knows What’s Up

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Ooh, burnnn.


Speaking of Da Fuck?

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It’s the words that sum up confusion in its finest.


Wife Learns Browser History

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Evil Babies; a.k.a, I’m Never Having Children

I’ve previously covered why children and clowns scare me. Like … I just can’t. Now some parent has gone and made their already scary kid into a freaking nightmare kid. Add the eyebrows and you have a Cirque du Soleil clown baby.

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And finally, remember, people:

Good Manners Start with You.

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