TBS Newsbot

I Saw the News Today: Normandy Attack, Aussie Juvenile Abuse Claims, Han’s Leg Broken

Top o’ morn! What happened while you were asleep? Well, the Normandy attack ended with IS, more claims of abuse were made, and Han Solo goes to court.


Normandy Church Attack Comes to a Close, IS May Be Involved, Hollande Reacts Accordingly

I’m unsure what it is this week, but the violence that paints our headlines have a very familiar pull to it. Yesterday, gun violence returned to a Floridian nightclub and last night pale barbarity walked once more on the streets of Normandy. The results now dried in the pages of history, two attackers entered the church but did not leave it.

The two purveyors of the acts, apparently “soldiers of the Islamic State,” as confirmed through news agency Amaq, and too, Francois Hollande, who released this statement:

As far as a meaning to the attack, it’s more the who than the how. The attack left one dead, Father Jacques Hamel, the symbolism of it speaks the loudest. Sister Daniele, a nun who fled the scene, was quoted as saying:

“They look to the floor to speak in Arabic…I didn’t understand everything they said, but they shouted ‘you Christians, you are oppressing us’.” It seems although the violence endorsed by IS is new in its intensity, is ancient in its origin.


In Australia, Further Youth Detention Cover-Ups Claimed, Expansion of RC Called For

Following the spotlight shone by Australian show Four Corners on the problems of the Northern Territory youth detention system, former workers from Queensland have come forward, claiming that same culture of violence of cover-up permeates their state.


Harrison Ford Told to “Break a Leg,” Does So, Intergalactic Lawyers Actioned

Harrison Ford, the recently dead Han Solo, was struck with the Force (hydraulic, not magic) on the set of The Force Awakens breaking his leg, and now the film company responsible (read: Disney) is in some rather hot glorp.

Apparently, Ford was struck with the power equivalent of a small car (read: Ford) and, given a slightly different set of circumstances, may have killed the oldest and most roguish bounty hunter in the Galaxy far far away.

Ironically, Ford’s injury was suffered on the set of Han’s beloved Millennium Falcon; perhaps, and this is unsubstantiated at this stage, but it might be revenge for all the times he called it ugly.

Payback’s a ship, yo.




Related posts