Kate Turner

The Blurst of Reddit: Weight Loss, Subtle Art of Death

Reddit is an Island upon itself. Unfortunately, it’s more Gilligan than Treasure. This week we’re shipwrecked with rampant death and horrible advice. You know, the usual.

 

How to Lose Weight, the Reddit Way!

There are so many ways to shed those extra pounds. A simple way would be to eat healthy and get our arses out now and then. But Reddit knows better than that. Sort of.

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Ever wonder how celebrities do it? Well, the latest in the long line of celebrity fad crash programs is the Chris Pratt Existential Angst Cry diet, colloquially known as the “Cry yourself thin!” diet. Ten out of ten Chris Pratts recommend this program. Start crying today!

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Now on to the Best Death Scenes Ever!

Who was it who allowed this dreck to live forever? Was it the director or the actor who thought, More dramatic, more everything? Because, face it. Even in Hollywood, you only die once.

God. That just kept going.

A C T I N G

This next clip is from the classic film, Basket Case. All I know is that I hope it’s on Netflix, because I would like to watch it with my bro-mate, who’s currently high as a kite. Mwahahaha.

I better lock the doors.

Just … how?

[Hi. Your Editor here, as a failed filmmaker and someone who filled vast periods of unemployment with the blurst of Cinema, I’d like to implant this gut-wrenching scene from the movie Troll 2. In it, a young man comes to grip with the death of his friend, taken all too soon.]

 

The Application of Brotherly Love.

Oh, brothers. For anyone who has one or has been one, you know that it’s a constant battle to neg, and/or not let things go. Ever. Brilliantly evidenced ahead is this bro’s inability to let his bro’s dodgy haircut lie, bro.

Although, while typing out the previous paragraph, I realized that the video was made in Philadelphia, which makes the lolz all the more gold on many a level. For, Philly is known colloquially as the City of Brotherly Love.

Really, though, who cut that hair, bruh?

’Til next time:

via GIPHY

 

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