TBS Newsbot

I Saw the News Today: Merkel Runs Again, Kanye Leaves Abruptly, Trump Won’t Harm Australia

Morning fudgin’ morning. Oh joy. What happened this past weekend? Well, The Merkelator will be back, Kanye had an early night, and Deloitte claims 99 problems but Trump not one (for Australia).


Merkel Announces Run for Fourth Term, Europe Shifts Rightward as a Response

Oh, Europe. The populist Right-wing fad has crossed the Atlantic, for what started with the Brexit, may indeed be the #Frexit if far-Right French Presidential hopeful Marine LePen finds her way into power. Meanwhile, the EU is forcing the UK into a “hard Brexit,” which is the geopolitical equivalent of when your partner asks you to move out by throwing all your clothes on the driveway.

Essentially, according to The Guardian, the EU “will refuse to grant the UK access to the single market unless London agrees to sign up to its rules, including free movement of people, capital, services and labour.” With increased growth of uncertainty, Germany’s (pro-EU) leader Angela Merkel will pursue a fourth term. Merkel, who represents a pole in the quicksilver tide of populism, may end up a political martyr banging a drum that no one wants to hear, but nevertheless the rest of the world needs Merkel to Merkel.


Kanye Doesn’t Care for Anybody, Ditches Show in Twenty Minutes

The problem with paying money to see a religious icon is that they tend to run on their own watch. I’d imagine Noah’s Ark was a pop-up, as was the resurrection of Jesus which was a “tickets at the (cave) door” kind of deal. Only those in the inner circle of Jerusalem’s hip scene knew it was going on. With that long-drawn bow skewering the pages of history, know the Kanye has struck again.

For those of you who may have missed out on tickets for his Sacramento show, here’s a quick recap:


Deloitte Finds That Trump Is “Very Unlikely” to Affect Australian Economy, Nation Exhales in Disappointment

Shame, really. For a nation who loves fitting in more than anything (so much so that Australians print bumper stickers to that effect), the report from Deloitte, a leading budget predictor (fun fun), claiming the Don will have little to no impact on the Australian Fed Budget should make them a sad panda. N’ermind. While this means less of The Orange One in the Australian cook-ook-ie jar, Australia does have problems of their own.

Chris Richardson, who authored the report, stated that two-thirds of the Australian national coffers came via taxes from wages, which is indeed a pickle. Why?

“Just last week we heard a new record low for wage growth in Australia, job growth has faded as well,” Mr. Richardson said. “They aren’t keeping up with the budget forecasts for them. It looks like this year and probably the next few years thereafter we will fall shy of the budget forecasts.”

Hmm. Don’t want to lose the plot here, but it might be time for Australia to ask Uncle Donald for a loaner.




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