It’s that time again. Gird your vocabularied loins, for it’s time for the pointed end of The Big Smoke’s Vocab-Extender, where this week we get real flirty.
Is there no end to this litany of whimsical words and terminological treats? Heaven forfend! Ever onward, we say! More grandiosity, we say! More affected adjectives and fantastical phrases. Here are our latest offerings.
Here at The Big Smoke Vocab-Extender Central Command, we’re always contemplating not just the irresistibility of our chosen words and how they sound when we’re pontificating about something or other, but also whether such words are entirely idoneous.
Suitability, appropriateness—that’s the essence of this pretentious adjective.
“Calvin determined that the most idoneous mode of transport was his Malvern Star Oppy S1, even though he wasn’t much of a cyclist.”
“Taylah, come back this instant! No daughter of mine is going out in that attire. You really must learn to dress idoneously.”
“That’s not fair, Mum. Sparrow and Lark get to wear their dominatrix livery to the school formal. How come it’s idoneous for them and not for me?”
Also on The Big Smoke
- TBS Vocab-Extender 3: Exercises in Bloviation
- TBS Vocab-Extender 2: Elucidate Harder
- Introducing the TBS Vocab-Extender
Kissing is nice, right? Well, romantic kissing anyway. Greeting your old Uncle Norbert with a familial peck on the cheek doesn’t count. But have you ever had an overpowering, overwhelming, uncontrollable urge to kiss someone? Like really overpowering? Like so overpowering you don’t know whether it might cement a relationship or make the other person run away screaming in disgust? If so, maybe you have basorexia.
“ ‘I’m sorry Vincent,’ wept Consuela. ‘It’s terminal, I’m afraid. I have,’ she dabbed her eyes and took a deep breath, ‘basorexia!’ ”
“Randolph felt he had to stay away from Huxley Mansions because the very sight of Winifred rendered him positively basorexic.”
“Suffer from basorexia? Make sure you always have a supply of Henry’s Halitosis Halters™. Available only from your local apothecary.”
Famished? Ravenous? Starving? Craving something different from the vocabulary menu? Here’s a choice word to satisfy those hunger pains—“esurient.” It commonly means hungry; the regular meaning, as in hungry for something to eat, but it can also be extended to mean greedy and, in particular, greedy for power or money. It has a nice superior ring about it and is perfect for we peddlers of patter.
“I’m so esurient, I could ingest an Equus caballus.”
“After the exhausting physical exertions of badminton, Alistair was as esurient as he had ever been and quickly devoured a whole roast chicken, two pizzas, a meat pie, some fish and chips, and half a cheesecake. Oh, and an apple, just to keep the doctor away.”
“Constance nurtured her esurience, confident that she would soon have the top job, the one she’d worked so diligently towards, the one she’d coveted for so long—ruler of the universe, mwah ha ha ha!”
Until next time …