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Dennis Rodman Attending the Kim/Trump Summit Is Peak 2018

Next week, Donald Trump will meet Kim Jong-un in Singapore. Fortunately, Dennis Rodman will be present to ensure that peace reigns. Yes, this is where we’re at.


In mafiosi parlance, whoever brokers a sit-down must be present at that meeting. The idea is to ensure everything goes smoothly, and be held responsible if anything goes wrong. It’s usually someone of unquestionable virtue and respect. Someone whom both parties can trust and feel safe around.

In the real world of realpolitik, that person is Dennis Rodman. According to numerous reports, Rodman is set to be present at the extremely important Donald/Kim summit in Singapore where that peace—if not between North and South Korea, but maybe between North America and North Korea—might be on the table.



Rodman is tasked with a great responsibility. If it gets heated, which it surely will, it’d be on him to calm two extremely inflammatory leaders replete with existing beef. The strange thing is that Rodman will be replacing John Bolton, who is Trump’s National Security Adviser, a role defined by the information they can glean on antagonistic foreign powers. Donald chose Dennis. Luckily, Rodman is a man of great calmness and zen aforethought.



There’s an obvious point that needs discussing. The possibility of peace possibly hinging on Dennis Rodman echoes the unreality of our time. See also the FBI agent who did a back-flip in a club and inadvertently shot someone as a result. Also, Donald Trump uninvited the Philadelphia Eagles for attending the White House on the grounds of disrespecting America. The Prez later forgot the words to “God Bless America” in the patriotic ceremony he organized in place of the Eagles’ visit.




I suspect that we might be living in a cartoon.

According to philosopher Jean Baudrillard (who articulated the idea of false things becoming truth through repeated exposure), hyperreality is a representation of something without a connection to reality or origin. It’s a bad copy that makes us forget the original. In this example, it’d be a retired basketballer/pile of earrings who was also a contestant on the television game show the sitting President ran, brokering a peace deal with the leader of an infamously reclusive feudal system of government, leading a kingdom forged in the fires of organized violence by the virtue of blood. That’s what apparently a peace summit now is.

No flies on Rodman, as he knows both these figures, which, considering the hyperreality of the time, makes him invaluable, and minus any real valuation.

With all that being said, it makes sense. If these two leaders are insane, then logic dictates that you require a more insane mind to keep them in check.

As Rodman himself once said: “…There’s one thing everyone should understand: I like my character.”

If he does manage to enable any sort of peace, I suggest that the UN immediately support his bid for General Secretary.

Ban-ki, whom?


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