Caitlin Johnstone

Literally Just Me Yelling At People For Their Garbage Takes On Bush’s Eulogy

George W. Bush’s eulogy for his father garnered a warm response for media commentators and celebrities alike. Are they kidding?


George W. Bush gave a eulogy for his father on Wednesday and establishment sycophants everywhere are falling all over themselves to tell us that this means his presidency has been redeemed and piles of human corpses are awesome. I take some time here to yell at them.


British pundit Piers Morgan: 

One word: No.


Russiagate pundit Ed Krassenstein:

Two words: Fuck you.


Daily Caller journalist Benny Johnson: 

Three words: Holy. Fucking. Shit.

No, Johnson was not joking. And no, he was not saying that the world did not deserve to have an apocalypse in cowboy boots inflicted upon it as a U.S. president. And no, he does not have family in Iraq or Afghanistan. Dubya teared up at the end of his eulogy for his mass murderer father, and Benny says this means he’s too good for us. There are not enough palms and faces in the world to adequately respond to this take.


Bloomberg Opinion editor James Gibney: 

Oh, he did, did he? He brought a million people back to life, put back the trillions of dollars wasted on unconscionable wars, stabilized a region that has been plunged into terror and chaos, halted the so-called “war on terror,” reversed military expansionism, and undid the Patriot Act in a single speech? Hell, man, that must have been some eulogy.

Gibney is just saying more blatantly the thing that all mass media cultural engineers have been trying to beat into our heads with the opportunistic propaganda extravaganzas that the funerals of U.S. political elites have become: that gratuitous warmongering is fine, and it’s time to move on from Iraq. The damage that has been done domestically to Americans’ trust in U.S. institutions, and around the world to the perception of U.S. moral authority, has made it far more difficult to manufacture support for escalations against Iran, Syria, and Russia, and has made people more difficult to propagandize in general. The job of mainstream media lackeys is to herd people back toward acceptance of establishment narratives and keep them trusting an innately untrustworthy propaganda machine.


CNN editor Brenna Williams: 

Well, it got American liberals hot and heavy with mindless patriotic sexual arousal the last time they did it, so why wouldn’t they do literally exactly the same thing again?

The sequel to this moronic, pandering, sappy photo op is being promoted by CNN, ABC, Politico, USA Today, and many other mass media outlets as a heartwarming gesture of togetherness in these cold, uncivil times. Have you ever noticed how these saccharine media homilies about coming together in unity across party lines is only ever about unifying behind political elites and forgiving unforgivable offenses? Have you noticed how it’s never, ever about helping the common man or standing against the toxic forces that are destroying our world? The call is not to unify to create a better America together, the call is to unite behind a power establishment that has never given a fuck about you.

The underlying appeal to these fluffy togetherness narratives lies in a shared longing by many for the days before Trump, which is weird, because longing for the days before Trump is just longing for the conditions which created Trump. Americans rallied behind a giant orange middle finger to the status quo specifically because they were angry about how awful things got under the barely distinguishable Bush and Obama administrations, and believing that you can point at those symbols of their anger and go “Look! Unity!” shows how pathetically insular and out of touch these beltway bootlickers are. Trump is the pus of an oozing pimple, and Bushbama was the glistening head of that pimple. Manipulating people into cheering for their own oppression is very possible, but they’re going to have to do better than that.


Dr. Dena Grayson: 

“No matter your politics.” These empire shills have been echoing this nonsensical phrase all day, and they’ve been doing it for a reason. If they can make this about a mere matter of polite differences of political opinion, then their whole unity-togetherness-we-love-Big-Brother party makes perfect sense. This, of course, ignores the fact that opposition to mass murder is not a political position. Mass murder isn’t “politics.” Despising a man who murdered a million human beings is not a political opinion, and it is still very hard to care that he got the sniffles when his daddy died.


Candace Owens: 

Nobody needs to give them credit for jack shit, you partisan hack. The fact that they invited your president and the McCains didn’t is a petty distinction which doesn’t reverse the unfathomable suffering this evil family has unleashed upon our world. No matter how many pieces of candy Bush gives to Michelle Obama, no matter how many tears he sheds for his dad, no matter how much you mass media pundits babble about unity and togetherness, the people who were killed by both Bush administrations are still dead, and their Orwellian surveillance programs and military expansionism are still getting worse by the year. There is no amount of patriotic performances which will undo that fact. George W. Bush will always be the man who murdered a million human beings and made the world far darker than it was before he took office.


I dream of a healthy future where George W. Bush is unable to enter a room without being greeted by an avalanche of shoes thrown at his head.

And that’s it. I’m done with this garbage. Another degrading patriotism parade for another murderous tyrant has been completed. Put that horrible war criminal in the ground and let’s move the fuck on.


I’m a 100 percent reader-funded journalist so if you enjoyed this, please consider helping me out by sharing it around, liking me on Facebook, following me on twitter, or throwing some money into my hat on Patreon.


Related posts