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Mike Pence Believes Smoking Isn’t Dangerous; He Will Steer America’s Coronavirus Response

Mike Pence, a man who claims smoking isn’t dangerous, is now in charge of the health of 327 million Americans. Should be fine.


The coronavirus is certainly a thing, one growing in seriousness. At the time of writing, the virus has spread to Italy and South Korea, with the salient point being that these cases were not authored in China.

So, attention has turned as to what is to be done with a problem like Maria’s awful cough. Australia has already had a go, putting a saddle on their white elephant, the Christmas Island detention center, but now it’s America’s turn. The solution, apparently, is rubbing some Mike Pence on it.

Oddly, the Donald has played down the problem, claiming that America is “very very ready” to handle any outbreak, before referencing the handful of citizens that already have the virus, stating, “… and so far if you look at what we have with the 15 people and they’re recovering, one is pretty sick, but hopefully will recover. But the others are in great shape.”

Trump also compared the virus to influenza, noting the larger number of people killed by it each year, before also mentioning that he recently became aware of said figure. Hell’s bells.


The Donald has played down the problem, claiming that America is “very very ready” to handle any outbreak.


At a press conference announcing America’s official response to the outbreak, Pence noted, “We have no higher priority than the safety, security, and health of the American people.”

So, back in 2000, Mike Pence wrote an op-ed that echoed his belief that smoking didn’t damage the health of the average American. “Time for a quick reality check,” Pence wrote. “Despite the hysteria from the political class and the media, smoking doesn’t kill. In fact, two out of every three smokers does not die from a smoking-related illness and nine out of ten smokers do not contract lung cancer.”

Yes, that was 20 years ago. But, crucially, it was 36 years after Surgeon General Luther Terry published his 1964 reports on the link between smoking and cancer. Moreover, Pence has offered no proclamation to refute his nonsense scribblings.

So, should we be worried?

Well, a man who has often described himself as “a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican … in that order” is responsible for containing the spread of a potentially biblical plague.



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