Sean Davis

Don’t Say the Royal Family Is Racist

(Photo by Mark de Jong on Unsplash)

Sean Davis makes a case for why the British Royal Family shouldn’t be called “racist” … because they deserve to be called far worse.

 

Television and Social Media news has been inundated with stories claiming the British Royal Family is racist. Princess Megan who married Prince Harry cried on Oprah about how the Queen and Prince Philip (who died two months short of his 100th birthday­—I don’t know—a little old to be calling yourself a “prince”) worried their baby would be born with dark skin. Then there’s a new article that reveals royal policy dictating they are not to hire “coloured immigrants or foreigners” for anything other than cooking, cleaning, or maybe emptying chamber pots. (Maybe? Isn’t that what they have in those old castles?)

While I agree this sounds racist, I still don’t think we should say they are racist. I mean, just because Edward VIII taught his niece (future Queen Elizabeth) how to do a proper Nazi Salute when she was little doesn’t mean anything. This was back in the mid-1930s, and Edward probably thought it was hip to be friends with Hitler back then. That’s probably why, decades later, Prince Harry dressed up like a Nazi. (Family traditions, whatcha gonna do?) Why are people calling them racist now? Where’s the outrage about the Royal Family colonizing India? The diamonds in the Crown Jewels today were ripped from Indian soil. The British did such a number on India that there was a section of the Indian population that fought in Britain’s wars believing if they died they would be reincarnated as white British men.

The Royal Family makes 1.9 billion dollars annually just on property they’ve conquered (stolen?) throughout history. The British Government also has what they call the Sovereign Grant, an incredibly ridiculous amount of taxpayers’ money so the Royal Family could live comfortably and perform their royal duties (create scandals and throw decadent and shameless weddings?). And this isn’t some ancient tradition. The Sovereign Grant was passed in 2011 and, at that time, the amount of TAXPAYERS’ money was 31 million pounds. That’s 43 million dollars. This last fiscal year (only ten years later), they paid the Royal Family 86.3 million pounds or $122,180,951.00 US Dollars, on top of all their other income. They cleared 700 million dollars in profits this last year even with tourism down because of COVID. They can all fart in bathtubs for the rest of their lives and make Jeff Bezos-type money while contributing just about as much to society as they do now. If nothing else, it would be more entertaining. (I’m imagining it now.)

 

Call them one of the most ridiculous, antiquated, and useless traditions in British society. (Maybe the world?) This family is a product of centuries of inbreeding and incesticide, and they’ve only gotten to where they are from exploitation of the poor, vulnerable, and people of color.

 

I’m sure they do a lot of good with charitable funds, and I am ignorant of why people like them or value their opinions, so, maybe I shouldn’t make so much fun of them. I just don’t understand why they are still a thing. Ultimately, the Royal Family’s sovereignty or right to rule came from the “Divine Right of Kings.” They believed their right to rule everyone else in their land came from God alone. When God didn’t agree with English politics, King Henry VIII created a new god and the Church of England. While the serfs laboring in the fields may or may not have believed that, today, looking back, I think most people can see this for what it was: Uh, some bullshit.

Over the last thousand years, the Royal Family has given up their “Divine Right” and transitioned the power of governance to Parliament. But have they really? As of right now, today, in the year 2021, the British Parliament cannot even debate a bill that has anything to do with the Royal Family unless they get the Queen’s Consent. In the 1960s, the English government ministries started to pass laws that made it illegal to not hire someone because of their ethnicity or race. None of these laws apply to the Royal Family, any of their million hectares of land, or any of their properties that they make so much money on. There are no equality laws that apply to the Queen, any of her family, or any of their businesses, so, of course, they’re all having a fit when Prince Harry makes a woman who they wouldn’t even hire a part of their family.

Don’t call them “racist.” Call them “horrible human beings.”

Call them one of the most ridiculous, antiquated, and useless traditions in British society. (Maybe the world?) This family is a product of centuries of inbreeding and incesticide, and they’ve only gotten to where they are from exploitation of the poor, vulnerable, and people of color. (I didn’t even go into how they supported the slave trade.)

Who cares if any of them joins the military, gets married, or has a baby? You, or someone you know, is doing the same thing, and we’re all going through a lot more difficulties than any of them. Oh, and the majority of us don’t refer to ourselves in the third person, kill our brother for power, or feel the need to colonize the nearest poor neighborhood and exploit them for labor and resources.

 

Sean Davis

Sean Davis is the author of The Wax Bullet War, a Purple Heart Iraq War veteran, and a community leader in Northeast Portland, Oregon. His latest stories, essays, and articles have appeared in various magazines and media sources such as HUMAN the Movie, the international fashion magazine Flaunt, Forest Avenue's forthcoming anthology City of Weird, and much more.

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