In 2019, the leaders of the free world have promised action over the Amazon blaze, and have donated 0.000006% of their net wealth to save it.
Kamala Harris Beats Mike Pence, Media Focuses on Errant Fly
While the presidential debate devolved into ear-splitting nonsense, Kamala Harris versus Mike Pence was a refreshing exercise in clarity.
Confused at First Sight: Why Do Smart People Watch Stupid Television?
I’ve witnessed the phenomena of smart people engrossed in stupid television firsthand. But I’m still unsure why. Help me out?
Binge Watching Is the Greatest Drug We’ve Ever Seen
Speaking for the “binge-watch” generation, unlike previous social movements built around drug culture, our high will never end. Forever new, forever solitary.
Super Bowl 54: A Very Confused Recap
Have you ever wondered what American Football, more specifically the Super Bowl, looks like to the rest of the world? Wonder no more.
Broken Home Improvement: Life Lessons From Al Borland
During a YouTube binge, I discovered something. Al from Home Improvement is the man I should have been. I should have taken his lessons on board, instead of laughing at him.
Joaquin’s “Joker” Is No Laughing Matter
Joaquin’s Joker is an ugly, purposeless film, one that attempts to take us through the transformation into pure evil, but comes up well short.
Are You a Radical Pundamentalist?
Puns. They’re not hurting anyone, right? Wrong. Radical pundamentalist joke killers are on the rise, and you could be next.
It’s Not the Future—We’ve Been Fantasizing About Sexbots for a Century
Fully functioning sexbots are only a decade away, but the concept of the carnal robot has long taken root in our fiction. We should be ashamed of ourselves.
I Root: This Millennial’s Thoughts on Plant Parenthood
In a completely original move, I’ve decided to get into house plants. However, with so many millennials gleefully entering plant parenthood, I think I know why.