Emboldened by their success with the coronavirus, scientists the world over are debating which disease to spread with 6G technology.
Trump Recommends Taking a Bath With Toaster to “Zap Away” Coronavirus
Following the same logical rope as his bleach solution, Donald Trump has proffered another way to beat the coronavirus with simple household goods.
CDC to Create New “Department of Karens” to Help Fight Pandemic
In an effort to contain the coronavirus, the CDC has enlisted an army of keyboard warriors named Karen.
Study Shows Keto, Vegan Diets Only Work If You Tell Everyone About It
According to a brand new study, certain types of diets only work if you bore everyone to death about them.
Measles Overjoyed That So Many People Are Giving It a Second Chance
The measles has taken to the internet, earnestly thanking the anti-vaccination crowd for giving it a second chance.
New Poll Shows “Karen” from Facebook More Credible than CDC, FDA, WHO
It’s official. Your mom’s friend Karen is more credible than government-funded medical professionals.
Study: Only Two Hours of Googling Required to Become an Expert
It’s official, it only takes two hours of Googling before you become an expert in whatever it is you’re arguing.
Christian Man Forced to Stone Entire Staff to Death after They Work on Sunday
One particularly religious manager is in hot water after following the Old Testament to the letter, smiting his entire staff for turning up on the Sabbath.
“Good Guy with a Shark” Saves Hundreds from Shark Attack
A recent shark attack in Tampa Bay almost spooled out of control. Fortunately, a man packing his own shark was well within his rights to save the day.
Study Finds Majority of Men Who Rate Themselves 7s Are Actually 5s (At Most)
Consider it official. Thanks to the findings of a recent study, those men who rate themselves a “decent 7” are barely a “5.”
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