I’ve had it with you guys. We should see other vernacular formulas. And now, like a carefree sociopathic widower, I’m excited to get out there and try new things.
Report: Scientists Already Hard at Work on 6G Technology, Considering Which Disease to Make It Cause
Emboldened by their success with the coronavirus, scientists the world over are debating which disease to spread with 6G technology.
Trump Recommends Taking a Bath With Toaster to “Zap Away” Coronavirus
Following the same logical rope as his bleach solution, Donald Trump has proffered another way to beat the coronavirus with simple household goods.
CDC to Create New “Department of Karens” to Help Fight Pandemic
In an effort to contain the coronavirus, the CDC has enlisted an army of keyboard warriors named Karen.
Op-Ed: Dems Should Do the Sensible Thing and Nominate a Moderate Rapacious Psychopath
If we can get two right-wing billionaires sparring over the presidency from July to November, we’ll never stop amping that. Imagine the ratings!
Study Shows Keto, Vegan Diets Only Work If You Tell Everyone About It
According to a brand new study, certain types of diets only work if you bore everyone to death about them.
Local Influencer Contracts Radiation Sickness After Fukushima Photoshoot
It’s all gone wrong for one social media influencer after her photoshoot at Fukushima was spoiled by massive doses of radiation.
Measles Overjoyed That So Many People Are Giving It a Second Chance
The measles has taken to the internet, earnestly thanking the anti-vaccination crowd for giving it a second chance.
New Poll Shows “Karen” from Facebook More Credible than CDC, FDA, WHO
It’s official. Your mom’s friend Karen is more credible than government-funded medical professionals.
Mandy vs The House That Jack Built: When Cinema Becomes Ideological Killdozer
Jason Arment reviews the two movies Mandy and The House That Jack Built and distinguishes them as parody versus satire.